Tribute to the Walk

Ever noticed how you walk??

Well I got a chance and its pathetic... I just joined a gym and they have these big big mirrors on all sides...probably to make you feel bad about the extra flab and the bulging tummies and work harder.. But somehow it doesn't work.. you just feel bad for a month and then get back to your chips and noodles in your couch.

Anyways my point is.. I started going to the Gym and noticed my self in the mirror ...Walking!! yea and i realised its pathetic ...And i need to change.

So what do i do?

I do an analysis on the different walking styles as i dint have any better job to do.
So here goes.

1. Gandhi Walk.. Remember Dandi March? Ever seen the determination in his walk to liberate India. and a stick is a must for this style of walking. Maybe that's why its not popular yet.

2. Cat Walk... Needs no introduction. Mother of all Walks. Guys would have infarct done a PhD on this style.. They would know the movements right from head to toe.Very popular walking style among girls and keeps the guys occupied too.

3. P Walk.. Now this is a style we would have all done in our life. Ever faced a situation where you had to go to the restroom badly and you had to walk a long distance to get there.. If not try it!!

4. Penguin Walk.. If you watch National Geographic Channel you'll know what this walk is all about.Again popular among girls but Guys too tend to follow.

5. Ouch Walk.. What do you say when your shoe bites.. ouch!!! you can actually hear Ouchs when they walk...

6. Kick Walk.. This is a very unique way of walking. Line up footballs in your path and go on walking and kicking the balls at the same time... you have this walk! Our Good ol' Mohanlal is the master of this walk.

7. Depressed Walk.. This is a walk characterised by all the depressed people out there. They walk as if they are forced to walk in this world.

Anyways Like they say..Walking gets the feet moving, the blood moving, the mind moving. And movement is life. So Keep Walking and and enjoy the video.

Save Us.... We're Sinking

Funny isn't it. Just a couple of months back we were complaining of late monsoons and drought. Now when the rains are finally here, we are complaining thats its raining too much.

Take our Indian team in Champions Trophy for example. We all went ga ga over our teams performance in all the previous tournaments. But now all the ga ga has disappeared.

The one pleasant thing however in the CT was the entire nation rooting for Pakistan in the Pak vs Aus match which Pak had to win to let India through to the semis. Don't remember such support from Indians for the Paks before and that too when India was playing another match at the same time.

We as Indians have the habit of complaining for all sorts of things. Right from Sachin getting bowled to food not being spicy. We complain when we have rains and if it doesn't rain, we again complain.

Now what if we dont have any reason to complain? No prize for any guesses. We complain of not having any reason to complain.

Talking about Complaints, I have a friend in office. We call him the "Complaint Box". Why?... Because he complaints about almost everything. Right from the Cab he takes to arrive at the office to the mouse he uses. Not that myself and others are far behind in complaining. But you see he really does it from the bottom of his heart.

I think its a motivational factor for all of us. Complaining gives us a sense of satisfaction.

Anyways,my Point!!.... The whole world is complaining.

And for those who dont have anything to complain about... enjoy the video below.

This...for all Mallus

Return of the Zzzz...

Looking back at the time i started writing this blog, i realised that it was a sponatneous thing. I was bored and my day was becoming a drag then. I was having a long weekend of 4 days back then and nothing to do which prompted me to start blogging.

Almost a year now, and i thought it was a good idea to take stock of what i did the last one year and where i stand.
Well not much people read my blog for obvious reasons. They obviously dont want to have a bad day. I was not able to create a brand of my blog during Nov - May when i was the most active. And to those whom i had to plead to read my blog, well i never got to hear from them again. I hope you guys are still out there.

So going forward I'm planning to do some serious blogging, not just any random thoughts but structured writing like you see in the novels. So dont be surprised if you get an sms in your mobile after an year inviting you for the launch of my book.

And secondly I'm goin to provide this blog with loads of information. Not that my blog was not informative before . Remember I had written a blog on why people snore and gave my analysis on the Chinese people making fishing nets and mosquito bats. But i still feel we should be concerned about larger things in life. for ex: why do people not feel hungry after they eat? and not Why Chadrayaan failed?

Now thats Rocket Science for you. And I ain't no Rocket Scientist.

Scribblings of the Week

So Finally the long awaited rains in Bangalore are here..and so are the not so awaited power cuts. Funny aint it how our system works. Rains or no rains power cuts have become an integral part of our lives. Jut like our daily meals. The power goes off daily 3 times. Once for Breakfast, then for luch and then for dinner, and if at all it does night shift, it goes off for a midnight snack. And I thought it just survives on Water.

While it had been raining outside this week, it had been raining inside our office as well. Rain of a different sort. The one which nobody enjoys. Well its been competitive everywhere with all the economic downturn and all. But when it starts taking the juice out of you then it means it time to halt, look back and start all over again....nah.It means its time change jobs. So , anybody with a good offer with a special clause stating "ONLY 8 hours of work", please please let me know.

Remember the ad where the sun just sucks the juice out of the kid while playing cricket and comes back home all worn out, I feel the same when the folks in US and a few people back here take the juice out of me with their requests which even they cant comprehend and i ultimately end up home good for nothing.And i dont have my mom here who can prepare a glass of Glucon D for me like in the ad. I consider Preparing a glass of juice cooking and i dont cook. So i dont venture into the Kitchen area much. And finally at the end of the request they have these 4 most dreaded words..."ASAP". In our office it just does not mean "As soon as possible " but "As soon as possible Yesterday".

And yea, amidst all this work they also give us long weekends once in 3-4 months. This time being Memorial Day in US . Friday is given off so that we can bug other people by blogging and Monday, which is when the Memorial Day is observed ,is given a holiday in India to fill yourself with enough juice for the next round of juice sucking.


Anyways I have exams coming up in next 2 weeks. I have been stuck with CA since the time i remember. Its kind of become a hobby for me to collect the Income tax books every year with the latest amendments. I have lost count of the the number of IT books i have.And the best part is they are still all brand new.....Damn!!!

Show Me the Money!!!!

Remember when we were young and we used to wait for our Pocket Money and the joy and the happiness associated with it. Well its the same feeling i get every 1st day of the month. and unfortunately that's the only good feeling which has been carried forward from my younger days.

Come the first day of the month and we can't wait to grab the salary what we earned for. No matter , whether we were just warming up our seats or staring aimlessly at the computer . It's the beginning of a new month. A whole month of experience gone by and another whole month of paying bills, bills and more bills.

During our younger days we would spend the money on all the fun things in life. Then we didn't have to prioritize and even if we had to we had to it was between 2 good but different things. But now It's a challenging thing of prioritizing what needs primary importance. Loans v/s a Fine dine at a good restaurant, Movies v/s Payment of Instalments etc etc

Credit Cards a.k.a Plastic Money a.k.a The Persuader. They will be the first to know when we are short of money as they both are neighbours in the wallet. They would shout out "Use me and Buy NOW, Pay LATER" and as the human mind goes we give in to their persuasion.Thus we blame it on the human mind. And its amazing to see how quickly the LATER comes when we buy NOW. Days have lost its consistency. It would be short one day and longer the next day and the days are smart too, they adjust as per our inconvenience.

How much ever we say Money isn't everything, ultimately we run behind money. We go to a store we bargain, we fight for salary hikes, the companies are trying to cut cost in order to have more money. Ultimately it all ends up having more money. and we say Money isn't everything. Well it may not be everything, But its definitely a lot more than something.

And if you feel your friends are getting away from you or are forgetting you, Just borrow some money and give the payments a miss. One of the best ways to make people realise that you are alive. Trust me. It works. I've tried it

So Money talks my dear friends and yet it can make one silent. Money is undeniably the one of the strongest asset in the world, rich or Poor, Money is definitely crucial to life.

The Week That wasn't

Finally the week has come to an end. It felt like an eternity.I knew that eternity is long. But this long I was not expecting and that too near the end.

I wake up on Wednesday afternoon and what do i realise... its not Friday.whereas it should have been a friday or at least a thursday. But no... It was a Wednesday..No not the movie. Just the wednesday like any other week but only this time it was a drag.I was lagging behind by 2 days.
And as always i tried to look at the positive side of things. I considered it as an additional virtual day in my life. Not that i wanted one but just wanted to make me feel good about the week not racing ahead like it always does.

Like always we had to work on nine wives and we were just given one month in office unlike the customary one wife and nine month. So it becomes really difficult in those circumstances and thats when you'll be really looking forward for your weekend where you could laugh, think and have your emotions moved to tears.

I had things planned for my weekend....Sleep, eat,sleep, IPL and sleep again. So yea i was looking froward for this weekend even though it was going to be a busy one.Maybe thats why the week didnt seem to race like it always does. I just wanted to have a productive weekend, thats all.

And like they say, a sunday well spent brings a week of content.

Mosquito the Menace

Its high time we declare the state bird of Kerala....The Mosquito.

More mosuitos are there in Kerala than any other birds. Now you would walk up to me and say that mosquitos are insects and not birds. But when u get to see mosquitos of the size of a bird flying around your head you would actually mistake it for a bird.Thats what happened to me when i went home this weekend.

We stay in the 9th floor. Closer to God than most people in our flat. I thought mosquitos were incompetent to fly all the way up to 9 th floor and suck our blood.But I was in for a surprise. Forget flying all the way up to 9th floor.I was surprised to see that they were more aggressive and vibrant when in high altitudes. Maybe its cos they dont actually fly all the way up as they use the lift . That way they conserve all the energy required to fly and use that energy on us.Strategist!!!

Looks like some chinese guy ended up in Cochin and had an encounter with the mosquitos . And like the Chinese Fishing nets, he left us with a Chinese bat.Looks more like a raquet and like all chinese products it has some dual utility or the other and so this one has a torch attached to it.So even during Power cuts you can hunt down the mosquitos. Another Strategist!!

Now, In addition to all this it also helps you improve your badminton skills,play air badminton around your house for 10 mins trying to hunt down mosquitos before going to sleep and in 6 months you'll be ready to compete in Olympics. No kidding.Try it.

All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope

If anybody happens to watch the Weather and Pollution levels of each city which they show in NDTV and you see that Bangalore has high sound pollution... I know who is spreading the love of sound in Bangalore

My driver....the driver who drops me to office everyday.

Whoever goes to Old Madras Road area at around 6pm on weekdays and hear an irritating honking sound (sounds something like kkkeee kkkeee kekekkkeee and mulitply that by 1000) will tend to agree with me. and if anybody sees a tall lanky fellow in there seated in th backseat , well he is innocent. Its the guy behind the wheels who is the culprit.

Now, apart from all the honking and abusing the people on the road another important charecteristic of the driver is that he does not like the roads empty. If he doesnt find any car on the roads he feels bored. Something similar to the drivers i have noticed in Delhi. They just dont like 'em empty.

The moment they see roads are filled with cars and people some kind of a mad spirit enters their body, the ones which you see on tv where people start acting weird when they go to a durgah and all.

Anyways, my point here is people have started losing patience here. There is this another case which i'm sure most of us would have come across in our daily life. There are people who keep constantly pressing the lift button expecting the lift to come to their floor faster. but the fact is that it actually comes late. Thats because the lift does not like constant reminding of what it has to do. Something similar to human mind. We dont like being reminded of what we have to do.do we? Now the key here is Patience. You just need to tbe patient till the lift arrives to your floor.

Now when my computer at work gets stuck trying to multitask and my directors are waiting for the report at that point of time i try banging my system hoping it will bring some sense into my stupid computer. well you know what, no banging brings your system into your senses. It will come back to life only when it feels like. Sometimes it likes to act dead and doesnt come back at all. Thats when you confirm a system has crashed. Now take my advice, its not good to bang at something which is dead.

There will be other instances when you feel the whole world is against you.especially in situations like when you have to reach some place urgently(most of the time office) and you get stuck in maddening traffic, or waiting to get a haircut done on a sunday and realising that 3 people have already arrived before you, or calling up a call centre for a very minor info and ending up going through all the option from 1-20 or when you are at a public place and you have to use the restroom urgently and then realise you are in queue.... hmmmm..maybe that has to do more with self control than patience.

Patience is one thing which cannot be inherited. It has to be learned and experienced. and for that too one needs patience. Now if you ask me how to get that initial patience ...I'ld just say...Read my blog.

Ice Ice baby

Thats what we thought we'ld be doing when we (Vishnu,Bobby and myself) decided to go Skiing on our vacation this December.

Well we realised that what you expect is not what you always get.

I'm sure you'ld have all expected somethings to be really easy and silly but when you actually try it out, its aint silly anymore. 

Well Skiing was not exactly there in our itenary.But the 3 of us couldnt resist that thought on our way to Rohtang Pass especially since we would be amidst the honeymooning couples and we wanted some adventure of our own. 

So we spend around 4000 bucks renting equipment for our skiing expedition and headed to Rohtang. Now my advice to all those who have long feet, you need to have pateince while trying out the ski because skis for long feet are hard to find.

Now after spending 4000 bucks, pushing cars to get to the top and an adventerous road journey through the edges of the moutains and slippery icy tracks, this is how we ended up.

I think our driver caught the dissapointment in our faces when we came back as we were not able to fly like the red & white eagle above which looks like a human. So he demonstarted his version of flying in the car on the way back since he preffered taking the aerial route in the car to reach our hotel than by road.Now if you ask me how on earth we are still alive i just have 3 words....GOD is Great.

Wake me up when February goes......

February!!!!

Well the only month which cant make up its mind, shortest month of the year but tries to compete with itself by adding a 29th day in there. Being the shortest has its advantges for the working professionals, you work less and get paid two days in advance. Now thats why i always want every month to be a february just like i want every day to be a sunday. 

Now what is it like being born on 29th Feb? Does it mean you turn a year older only once in every four years or do you have to celebrate you birthday on 28th or the 1st of March. If thats the case you'ld have to remember two dates just to be safe. also if your gift didnt make much of an impression you could always produce another on the 1st of March.Or if you if you don't have the finances at the end of the month to buy a gift on 28th, which is most likely, you can always give the real gift on 1st of March once you get your pay.

Also February is not the best month to invest in stocks. so is Jan, March, April, May, June, July, August, Sep, Oct, Nov and Dec

To err is human, to forgive divine

If forgiving is divine, yes than I'm divine.

Lately I've been the forgiving kind.I seem to forgive everybody.

If somebody comes and pushes me to the ground i might as well say sorry on their behalf. See I forgive.

The other day My manager sends me a stinker mail for not sending out a particular mail to our client. As a matter of fact the next day he was supposed to do it and he forgets. What do i do? I forgive.

The other day i took a loan from one of my colleague. He comes and asks for the money. I couldn't repay him. I'm broke. What did i do...I forgive myself.

My Cab comes late when i really need to get to office. The driver throws attitude as if I'm late. What did i do.... I forgive

My Directors give me work when I'm about to leave for home and make me work extra hours almost daily. What do i do. I forgive.

Amidst all this My Supervisor gives Zero support. What do i do. I forgive.

My Supervisor sees this blog after a week. What would i do. I forgive him for reading this.

Trust me. You write "I forgive" 7 times . You will actually start forgiving.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Date : Jan 29 - 21:55 - Mission - To board Kanyakumari Express to go to my home..sweet home.
22:00 - Train arrives . Board the train hoping to see a good looking female just opposite to my berth. But as bad luck would have it I get an elderly couple. Not the first time it has happened so I'm quite used to these kind of disappoinments. Anyways the story continues.

22.30 - No sign of TT and everybody is getting restless, nah, not to sleep but to go the bathroom because they didnt want to miss the TT when they are at the bathroom. Meanwhile confusion breaks out as to which berth to occupy. For the benefit of ppl who have not travelled in Trains recently ..Now there are 81 berths compared to 72 what we had before. confusion being which berth to occupy, the old system of numbering or the new system of numbering the seats.

22.45 - Still waiting for the TT. The babies start crying.even they are restless.

22.50 - Mom calls.even she is restless. wants to know if her only son boarded the train.

22.55- The TT finally arrives.ends the cofusion and asks us to follow the old numbering. proving time and again that the Railways are a confused lot themselves. Now why would u invest so much money on increasing the number of berths and not actually use it.

23:55 - People finally get a chance to go the bathroom and hit the berth. and like everybody else I also hit the berth.

00:35 - The train stops and I'm awaken by a loud roaring sound. and no prize for any guesses...its the person next to me snoring away to glory. and now since i was wide awake and my neighbour in train showing no signs of letting me sleep my thoughts began to wander...which led me to a question.. Why do People Snore??.. So i googled it and found the answer.

Vibrations of soft tissues located at the back of our throats cause the noisy, annoying sounds of snoring

The palate, uvula and tonsils are the tissue structures that flap against each other when someone has too much tissue at the back of their mouth or when an obstruction is blocking the air passageway to the back of the throat.

People with snoring problems tend to have one of the following conditions:
Poor muscle tone in the tongue and throat
Excessive bulkiness of throat tissue
Long soft palate and/or uvula tissue in the back of the mouth
Obstructed nasal airways

See, This blog is not just a waste of time. apart from ruining your day by reading this, it also imparts knowledge. hmmmm maybe i Should start thinking of a new name for my blog.

Anyways, Its not a Happy Ending altogether. Return Journey in a bus, I end up with a same fate . This time its a guy who should be younger to me, i guess, since he is still in college, and i thought only old people snore.

And for all the snorers out there including my buddy Vishnu, You rock, so you shoud just go ahead and join a rock band.

Doesnt make sense huh??... I guess i should just stick on with Waste of Time.

Happy Birthday to me

Ok ..I'm 24 years old now. and when I look back at the year which went by, I feel it has been the most stressful year and I've a feeling its going to be the same this year too.And moreover i dont feel the same kind of excitement i felt when i turned 2. Infact i was anxious because i had doubled my age in a year, and if that keeps up I'ld be 64 by the time I become 6.

Somebody has rightly said." The only thing that comes to us without effort is Age". and its so damn true. I mean you put an effort in so many other things in life but you may end up with nothing.

You know what I've decided to put some effort at other things and to start off i intend to do something about the recession. Fight it. I'm going to INVEST. I'm going to SAVE and buy a car. Bring down recession to the floor and pee on it and tell recession .....You cant mess with me. I'm still framing ways of fighting recession but that maybe in my next blog.See i just dont try to ruin your day by writing this blog. I also try to do some research and provide solutions.Maybe thats another thing I should have on my agenda of things to do for the year.

Supposing I live for another 50 more years. that leaves me with roughly 18ooo odd days. which in an accountants view is not much. But what the hell. Like I read somewhere; to a feeling man, life is a tragedy but to a thinking man, its a comedy.

Mallu, Malabari, Keralite, Malayalee.... who are we anyways??

Now what do we call a person who is from Kerala?

A. Mallu
B.Malabari
C.Keralite
D.Keralan
E.Madrasi
F.Malayalee

No this is not a million rupee question. But the person who can give the right answer will get a free head massage at a local barber shop near my place.

The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers

Now what would you do if you have to torture somebody..

you can Use a very sharp knife and slowly peel off each layer of skin,Pull out their hair, strand by strand or go crazy and just tug and pull, Pull out their fingernails and toenails one by one with a rusted pair of tweesers,Lay them down in a bed of starving ants.... naked,or tie them to a rope overhanging a tank of sharks & slowly start cutting the rope.maybe just send them to meet raghu for a roadies audition.

But hey I'ld just take them to the nearby place where i cut my hair and i'ld just ask them to get a head massage.

P.S . please contact me for the address.

Happy Happy New year

Another Year goes by, meaning we inch that much closer to going six feet under. Another year meaning another 365 days to right some wrongs of the previous year.

I'm sure there would have been lot of people who would have stayed up till midnight to make sure the previous year leaves, but the optimists would have stayed up to see the new year in.

My New Year's Resolution: To tolerate the fools at work more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. In short , Maybe find a better job.

Apart from that for me its just a New Year with same goals which is a carry forward of the previous years.

So cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.